Recent Reviews of Things

Movies:
Smokin' Aces. Smokin Aces was an awesome movie in many areas. Obviously, as one can ascertain from the commercials, it delivers in the action department. It's intense without brandishing its R-rating too disgustingly, and does things in a very polished manner. The characters were pretty flat, but the director made you care about their relationships more than the characters themselves, and it worked. The relationships made for tons of comedy and just enough drama to make you remember those characters in their different ways. The music was also a highlight and I immediately wanted to buy the soundtrack walking out of the theater. It did what I absolutely love, tied the soundtrack in with the situation on screen, and did it with ease. Overall one of my favorites for the year thus far.
Epic Movie. Who is this movie for? The jokes are either completely directed at pre-teens or soar above their heads with references to movies they can't even spell. This movie fails at making fun of other movies and instead gives plenty of material to make fun of itself (and not in a good way). Where is Leslie Nielson when you need him?
Saw1-3. This one's a bit out of place, but I went back and watched the DVDs. I still stand by the idea that these movies hide some quality under all of the Nine Inch Nails photography and gore fiestas. The killer, Jigsaw, is portrayed as this puppet in all of the commercials and all throughout the first film, but starting in the second movie and into the third, he is a very established character. Maybe it's the writers pushing their ideas through Jigsaw, but his monologues are very quote worthy and elevates him far above the standard slasher movie antagonist. Even touching on such ideas as survival of the fittest and how our current society has seemed to abandon this idea. Whether or not you agree with his views, they have merit and can stand on their own beyond the context of the movie, and you couldn't find that anywhere else in the horror section of blockbuster (or netflix, whatever people do these days).

Games:
Lost Planet. I ordered the Collector's Edition of Lost Planet (came with a super awesome case and a little model thingy), that's how confident I was of the game. The game is absolutely gorgeous. If you want to shut that PC or PS3 fanboy up, show them this game. The explosions rival that of Hollywood creation, and the effects and atmosphere completely throw you into the setting. Once you get past all of that, however, (and that won't be for a few hours, trust me), you'll find a broken, dated game. The controls weren't built for mass-market, but more for those looking for an old school game that doesn't need to be as fluid as, say, Halo or the likes of. Also, have you seen those commercials with the big battles between humans, mechs and giant worms? Pretty fricken sweet right? Yeah it says Lost Planet at the end of the commercial, but they must've gotten a different copy than I did, because all I see are barren snow deserts where I run along by myself. Seriously. You have allies in the beginning, but don't bother trying to get to know them; they're gone before you know it. From then on, sure you might fight Mechs and tons of enemies, but there's no Saving Private Ryan in the snow hundreds of years in the future, so you can stop calling your mom over to watch the commercial while saying "See?! Video games aren't just for kids anymore!" because you're pretty much guilty of perpetuating false advertising. It's a fine game for a while, but it hardly delivers (besides a sweet nasty case).
Crackdown(demo in this case). Watch out GTA! Here comes another free-roaming game where you can not only drive, but shoot! Seriously though, this game stands out from all of those "gangsta" games in many ways. First of all, the look is completely new with a comic book style while dodging being too cartoony. Next, the game is tons of fun to play. With GTA, you wrestle with controls. With Crackdown, you can make precision jumps (more on that in a minute), precision shots, and just basically you have a better handle on your character. The biggest difference between Crackdown and GTA is that, in this game, you are a super hero cop, who can excel in certain attributes like agility and driving. To do this, you just have to do activities that apply to the attributes (drive to boost driving). Basically, once you get high level, you can basically become Spiderman literally jumping from rooftop to rooftop. It's surreal, intuitive and addictive. I'm definitely picking this one up on February 20 (not to mention it includes an invite to the Halo 3 Beta...)

Hiatus

Sorry for not posting in so long (I'm sure many people got fed up and left, but hey), many games and events have filled my life. I'll be posting more regularly again, and to finish where my last blog left off, I did end up getting a Wii before the holidays (try finding one now...sheesh). Anyways, check back soon for reviews for all the latest games and movies.

Good news everybody!

Hey guess what!? I got screwed out of a Nintendo Wii. My comrade Daniel and I planned on getting to Circuit City last night around 1 AM, when we actually showed up at around 2ish. We set up shop with our nice fold out chairs, layers of coats, blankets, PSP (loaded with The Big Lebowski), and poker equipment. We sit there in lonely old Colonial Heights sipping down caffeinated drinks and playing poker fighting off the cold until about 3 when my friend Matt shows up. He plays a few hands of poker with us and we all kind of realize, maybe we don't need to camp out. The circuit city guy, who I spoke with earlier this week, said that we probably wouldn't have to camp out, and that the shipment would be about 30 Wii's. In the end, we realized screw it, we're not losing our organs to the cold for no reason, and we went home to sleep and return to Circuit City at about 9 (circuit city opening at 10). So I wake up pretty refreshed and leave for Circuit City about that time, and as I pull up there's a huge. Freaking. Line. Not just a handful of people, about 70 people. No Wii. The End. If anyone wants to camp out with me next weekend, I'll have plenty of refreshments.

Money goes out the window...

Sheesh so this winter, so far, since...say...Octoberish..I've spent in the upwards of 400-500 on a TV and video games. This Saturday I'm camping out for a Nintendo Wii (Zelda baby!), and after Christmas I'm going to start saving for Smash Bros., Lost Planet, Crackdown, Stranglehold, Halo 3, Mass Effect, a Freaking PS3, etc. Holy crap.

Halo newsbreak

So Bungie just announced two awesome things: A) there will be a Halo 3 multiplayer beta next summer and B) there will be new maps for Halo 2 around the same time. To all the Halo fans, how can this not be sweet. The only downside (for everybody else) is that you can only download the maps on the Xbox 360. So basically more Halo this summer, before Halo 3 next fall! Of course, I still have to wait till the summer but that's awesome.

Oh and not that anybody cares...

Saw this format on Bungie.net, so I figured I'd do my own:

Bungie: What is it about Halo 3 that you are most looking forward to?

More must-play maps like Lockout, Zanzibar, HangemHigh, and Blood Gulch (not Coagulation), the new weapons (Spartan Laser=mmm), and not to mention hopefully the return of Halo 1's grandiose scale and epic battles. Not to mention you can record videos in Halo 3...woot.

What is something you want to see put into Halo 3?

Sprinting? Weapon stealing? Bots? Map Maker? Ability to boot tard bags? A feeling of being in a larger conflict (in both multiplayer and singleplayer)

What feature from either Halos would you like to see return?

I think that Halo 1's pistol provided a nice balancer, but if they can find a replacement hot diggity. Beyond that, Halo 2's superb jumping and some middleground between Halo 1's melee and Halo 2's lunges. Huuuuge battles over huge terrains (see Two Betrayals on Halo 1) and in general larger spaces. More looks into the Covenant point of view.

What do you think they did wrong in Halo 2?

I think that some of the levels were not completely thought out (Coagulation?), and I think that the freakin Flood can only go on so far without some sort of upgrade. Also, open up the levels (I don't mind trekking across huge open fields if they are set pieces for larger battles) and give the player more chance to do things stealth (my kind of game) and please do Legendary in way that requires more strategy and less frustration.

Describe your all time favorite memory from the Halo campaign.

That would definitely go to the final encounter on Two Betrayals on co op. My brother and I scoping out the huge battle and picking our targets and our method of attack and finally getting it right. Amazing battle.

Describe your all time favorite memory from Halo 2 multiplayer.

That would actually come from early in Halo 2's lifespan, online, playing with my brother and my friend Evan in a capture the flag game. It was 4 on the 3 of us, and through some amazing battles, we came out on top. Definitely play this game online.

Who is your favorite Halo character and why?

I'd have to go with the Arbiter. The Master Chief is the master pimp, but as for a character who goes further than just skin deep, it's definitely the Arbiter. The Arbiter is deemed a traitor in the beginning of the game, but ends up being one of the only sane Covenant left, and provides a perfect bizarro reflection of the Chief in the Covenant world.

gears of war?

So...sorry about that hiatus, a certain game has caught me by the ears. If you've been following the game at all, this game is hot. Of course it looks great (refer to those commercials on MTV, etc.), the sound is tight, and it's cheaper than a PS3, but that's not what matters: this game is fun. As soon as I beat the game (which is not too long, but not too short), I immediately jumped into the harder difficulty. Very rarely do I play a game on a harder difficulty for any more reason than to piss myself off and pretend like I hate video games, but this is one of the few cases where it is superb as it gets more difficult (as is Guitar Hero, etc.). First half hour, I thought, well hey this game looks great and man is it gory (hide the children), but until you get the heralded cover system, it won't click. But when it clicks, and this is what most games lack, you want to master the game. Much like Halo, you perfect the movement and find yourself doing things with such slick movement you didn't even think you could accomplish in the game and the on screen character becomes an extension of your mind. Crazy sounding, yes, but man is it sweet. This one will most likely go the way of my copies of Halo; I play it so much it stops working and I have to buy a second copy and explain it to everyone who comes over. In the mean time, I played PS3 at Target! There were two demos: NBA Shit 07 and Motorstorm. Since the NBA game probably doesn't even work (and 2 people are disappointed), I played Motorstorm. The game looks great (even on those "TVs" Target has (read: toilet webcams) and the sounds pretty cool (good music), but I mean it's still a racing game. That is, until I pause the game and turn on the "Tilt Sensitivity". What this means now, is that steering is completely reliant on you tilting the controller in the direction and intensity that you would like to go at. Sounds ridiculous (oh and definitely makes you look ridiculous), but god is it fun. This run of the mill game is suddenly fun and I'm looking like a child playing with a bouncy ball in the pottery section. There's no doubt about it, maybe Sony had their tilt shite before Nintendo, maybe they ripped em off, either way, it works like a charm. I'm looking forward to the PS3 this summer when I buy it, because if I buy it now I will A) be mugged upon leaving the premises with the PS3 or B) will be forced to enjoy one of two games for 4-5 months until the new games come out (as with any system). Which brings me to the Wii, where my excitement has somewhat waned. Don't get me wrong, the controller's technology is awesome, but its not escaping the system launch syndrome where there are one or two cool games coming out and no more cool ones for months. Ah well, it will definitely be fun fishing on Zelda guaranteed, no matter how much the graphics suck compared to Gears. Over and out.

Mah Naymah Borat

So I traveled to Short Pump last night to see the long-awaited Borat and I must say, the movie is all people have been saying. Warning, however, Borat can be one of the most offensive movies you have ever seen if you don't take it with a grain of salt and atleast realize that Sacha Cohen is joking on his own beliefs a good portion of the time. If you can step outside any morals and have fun, this movie is friggin awesome. Borat finds people and takes advantage of the fact that he seems foreign and hard to understand and just runs with it. His gypsy jokes, his Jewish jokes, and all of the anti-America jokes are amazingly crafted and somehow choreographed. How he tied a motivation for all of his gags and lead everything in one flowing direction is beyond me, but Cohen has done it. I haven't laughed this hard out loud since...maybe Kung Pow? Oh and don't worry, you don't need to like Kung Pow to like Borat...it's not like that. Gears of War tomorrow...top rated game of the year...mmmm...Rainbow Six Vegas next week....mmm. Over and out.